Not-so Neverland
by thebusinessofmiseryx
Summary: It had been four years since Wendy had left Neverland, so why only now had Peter showed up at her window? Why was he looking older than before? Birth, marriage, love and comfort. But who will get a share of which?
1. Prologue

Prologue

I've never wanted to grow up, not really, but one of us had to and Peter definitely would not be the one to do that. I suppose even though I knew it was for the best, and that Peter genuinely belonged in Neverland, more so than I. Even knowing this, I knew that I could never forgive Peter for showing me what eternal youth could be like, then forcing me to sacrifice it.

It had been four years, since I had left Neverland when I finally heard from Peter again. Not so much as a shadow in my room, or a sprinkling of pixie dust had been left – just a note; one that scared the living daylights out of me, but excited my adolescent brain as I felt the rough paper beneath my fingers. One note, saying he would meet me there that night to take me back to where I belonged. I wasn't even sure if it was real, since leaving Neverland I had trouble believing that I had ever been there at all. It was hard to believe anyone could rip something to beautiful and magical away, especially when you're the one to rip it away from yourself.

"Are you going to look at that thing all night, or come with me?" I looked up from the paper in my hands to see a not-so boyish figure stood in my window. Dressed from head to toe in green, but a larger variation of the outfit I had seen him wear last.

_Had Peter Pan grown up? _

"I thought you would have at least been dressed, although admittedly I like this nightwear much more than your last simple dress." He was now circling me in a flirtatiously menacing manner, and I have no idea why but I was still unable to speak. I looked down at white silk chemise that I was wearing, and wondered why I hadn't made haste at getting dressed? I could have been dressed for an adventure twenty minutes ago, but I just had to re-read that letter. Thirty-one times.

"Why are you even here, Peter? You haven't spoken to me in four years. Not once! Why have you arrived now? And how on Earth have you managed to look so old?" Peter looked at me with a mischievous smirk, and stepped closer, putting his hand on my cheek.

"I will explain all if the fine lady does dare to take my hand, don't worry about your er, attire. I have clothes for you to wear when you come back to Neverland."

The mention of the land that I had longed to go back to for over a thousand days, made my heard skip a beat and before I knew what was happening, I had taken hold of Peter's hand, thinking of all the wonderful adventures that had occurred in his homeland and breathing in as I saw the gold pixie dust floating above my head.


	2. Acorns

Chapter One -

I hate flying, that's one thing that 'growing up' had instilled in me - either that or the fact that being round Peter in general unsettled my stomach and made it impossible to enjoy something that I once loved. When I was younger, I didn't think of the falling, the unhappy thoughts which could cause my death, the fact I was so far away from the ground that no one could catch me. Clearly Peter hadn't outgrown the pasttime, he could fly with more ease than a fairy ; speaking of which, where was Tinkerbell?

As if he had sensed what I was thinking the boy I had once known turned to me, face grave and whispered the words that I had never wanted to hear.

"She's dead, Wendy. You stopped believing..." this had to be a dream, a nightmare, a deep thought in which I had to wake from. Surely I could not be the cause of death for the mischievous pixie? I braced myself waiting to wake up, but I didn't. Instead my feet began to float down to the ground, and the only thing stopping me from falling was Peter's hand, in mine - pulling me towards a blinding star and then straight on until morning. My old home.

"Peter, was it really me? I knew you were real, I knew Tink was real... How could I have killed her? You were both so dear to me and... Oh, Lord." I looked up as his thumb brushed my forefinger, reassuringly. Was that why he was taking me to Neverland? Revenge...

Oh how the lost boys must hate me! The fairy that brought so much amusement and joy into their lives had been pulled away because of me. I would never be able to forgive myself.

"You might have known we were real, but you stopped believing in me..." He whispered, still in mid-air.

"I didn't stop, I always knew you were real! I dont understand it, Peter"

"Knowing I'm real and believing in me are two seperate things. Without me, there's no Tinkerbell. You never believed I'd come back, that I would have you back in my life and without that hope you just abandoned us... A fairy is born from a fairy's laughter, but they're tortured when a loved one frowns... Miss Darling, my darling. I'm sorry that I gave you reason to stop believing."

I wouldn't be human if I didn't cry, so I didn't even attempt to stem the flow of tears running down my cheek as the sun blinded me and we arrived at our destination. We both remained silent as we hovered in the air, and then glided to a hollowed out tree which had housed Peter Pan and the lost boys for many years. Although, the once-lost Peter Pan now seemed to have more direction than a map, myself on the other hand... As much use as a broken compass.

-x-

"The clothes fit well!" Peter remarked as I spun around in a circle, wearing a rather modern garment that Peter had bargained for. He said it would one day come into fashion, and that it had been prophesised - I was dressed as a "flapper" whatever that was! As bare as I felt in the elaborate black dress, and feathery headband, I felt a sort of femininity that I had never felt before. This was soon eliminated as I tried to walk in the small black heeled shoes that I had aquired; hopefully they didn't detract from the desired look.

"Yeah they do, although they are awfully strange! I have larger undergarments which is weird..." the man in front of me threw his head back laughing and eyed my frame.

"Well Miss Darling, I handpicked the ones you are wearing under that so I know they are slightly smaller... and more womanly than a chemise."

My cheeks burned red, was Peter Pan flirting with me? I hoped so, even if it was sinful.

"Peter... As lovely as these clothes are and how happy I am to be here with you, I have to ask the question. Why did you bring me back?" he ran a hand through his hair and bit his lip in thought, before running over do a desk, which he pulled a drawer and emptied in onto the floor. Immediately the wooden flooring was covered by hundreds of acorns, which rolled everywhere and very nearly knocked me off my heels.

"Because, Wendy Moira Angela Darling... I would like a proper kiss. Not an acorn, I feel robbed."

It was at that moment that I felt his hands reach round my waist, my heartbeat pick up and my hand grow sorer as he leant towards me with his lips puckered and I slapped him.

Thankyou so much for the wonderful reviews and other compliments such as favourites and followers, chapters will be more regularly from now on and I apologise for the wait. I had to save up for a new laptop! Wahhhh. Love you guys xx


	3. Mouth to Mouth

Chapter Two -

"What on Neverland was that for?" Peter gasped as my hand collided with his face, rather brutally. My cheeks turned red and I began stuttering something about not knowing what to do, then did the only thing that seemed would make it better, I kissed him.

His lips were wet, I should have expected that. Although I really hadn't thought he would put his tongue in my mouth, it felt weird and slippery but... enjoyable. I knew immediately that I could kiss this boy for eternity, but surely he was accepting acorns from other baskets?

We only broke apart when breath was running out, which happened to be the same time that his hands slid to my waist. Peter was now looking at me as if I was the most beautiful girl in the whole of Neverland, which was a hard title to hold – mermaids being there, and all.

"That was... The best kiss I've ever had." he murmured, grabbing my hands and crushing my heart at the same time. How many people had he kissed? I knew that he was attractive and the ladies liked him, but seriously... How many women?

Stepping back, I smiled forcefully and started awkwardly at the floorspace between us. There was myself, virginal and all – then there was Peter, I left him as a child and now he was clearly an experienced man. Well travelled too, he was clearly accustomed to picking out women's underwear.

"How many women?" I though, but this time I didn't filter it and my words were out in the open for all to hear.

Peter looked shocked, and he began to shuffle nervously on the spot. This wasn't good. I knew when he reached for my hands again, that it was going to be a high number.

"I have been with eight women, though none compare to you-" I stopped him mid sentence by snatching my hand away and giving him a look of such disdain that it shocked even me when I felt it appear on my face.

"That is disgusting, how can you kiss me like that, as if I'm the only one when I'm number nine? Not even second best! I'm ninth. Why come for me at all, you're clearly not short of women to fill your bed!" I felt my face growing hotter and my breathing grow heavier as I realized what true heartache was. It was loving someone so much, and knowing that they were not yours.

"You left _me_, Wendy. I wanted you to stay" he looked angry now "I'm human, I feel things for attractive people, I see women who make me want to do things and I feel happy when I'm doing them. The one thing I don't feel is completely satisfied, because I want to be doing those things to you!"

Tears were rolling down my cheeks at this point – he'd brought me to fill his bed, dressed me up to dress me down and to warm his sheets then be shipped back off to London by morning. I could understand him, I really could. I'd had feelings like that too – like something needed doing, like I was on the verge of something... but I didn't know how to solve it. I'd heard whispers at school that it was about sex – but everyone knows that sex is for having children, surely having a child wouldn't solve my problems? If anything, it would create more. There was something in my mind and body that told me that there was more too it, being close to Peter made me feel things I'd blush to tell a Priest.

"I have feelings too. You could have waited for me, it's not fair. We'll never be even now, if we did have sex you'd always be my first... Whereas I'll always be your ninth..." I sobbed and I sobbed, feeling inadequate and unprepared was something that would always trouble me. No one wants to feel vulnerable when bedroom matters are in question. I must have been shaking, because Peter put his arms around me so tight and wrapped me up like a present. It was warm and comforting, and innocent yet intimate. He made me feel so many things at once, it was frightening.

"You'll be my first love always, and you'll be my last. What books you put between two bookends are entirely your choice, but the start and the finish are the things that will be noted. My world begins and ends with you, everything between is just paper." the words meant so much, and I couldn't stop myself from leaning up and kissing him. This kiss wasn't nearly as innocent as the last one, it was rougher and desperate and when I felt his hands snaking down my body, I didn't want to stop him. I wanted to see where it would go.

"Go lie down on the bed, we won't have sex. I promise" I didn't know what would happen, but I knew that I didn't want to stop it. So instead I walked over to the four poster bed that was covered in mismatching pillows and blankets, and laid down. Awkwardly.

Peter strode over to me, looking determined and... warming. When he reached the bed, I felt his hand move up the bare part of my leg and move further upwards, as he dared himself an inch at a time. I couldn't breathe, what was he doing? His remaining hand, was higher than the previous, pushing my skirt up to revealing the undergarments that he had picked out for me. I couldn't speak, or stop him - not that I wanted to. I needed to see where all of this would lead, so I let the now-grown Peter remove the under things and see parts of me that had only been seen by those who changed my nappy. From there on, I was lost and confused. He said we weren't having sex, so why was I laid bare from the waist down?

The Neverland veteran, stoked his hand up my thigh and placed his hand between my opening. Pushing two of his fingers in slowly, whilst one hand moved in circles on my clitoris. The kind of 'Happy' Peter had meant, suddenly befell me. Nothing else mattered but him and I, and what he was doing to me. I never wanted him to stop. It was only when I though that it couldn't get better, that he lowered his face to my most private of parts and began suckling on my clitoris, and teasing my opening with his tongue. He adjusted his head and began drawing circles with the wet organ, whilst moving his fingers at a greater speed. I could feel myself growing closer to something, but I didn't know what. Virginal but no longer innocent, I heard myself crying out his name and begging him never to stop.

Peter looked up at me and grinned, licking the moisture from my thighs then returning to what he had been doing before. "Come on, Wendy. Over the edge, I want to taste you properly." that was it, fireworks had exploded with a final movement of his hands and the world as I knew it was changed.

"What was that?!" I asked, when my consciousness finally returned. I was being enveloped in his arms once again as he whispered in my ear. "The start..."


End file.
